Fear

Already scared, isolated and grieving, you entered my life.

Already in survival mode for years, you entered anyways.

Past cries for help, gone silenced and unmet, this now top of my list; not yours.

You arrived. Power permeating: threatening take aways if we did not comply.

You didn’t see our complexities, and policies were written to dismiss.

He didn’t understand, didn’t know what he did; many tried to tell you.

Our truth did not matter; at least too little or not soon enough.

“Unsafe”. I gasped. Never thought I would be here, my worst nightmare.

I was one of you; though never have I felt further apart; your power loomed over us.

Weeping, I knew what you weren’t saying. Sign or else. I, too, guilty of this.

I didn’t know the fear I would feal, the tsunami released on my life and relationships.

Your looming impacts, permanent & long-lasting. I shouldn’t have signed.

Nor been forced to. I regret now and I live with the betrayal.

Terrified by the ways it could have ended, and how we are not out of the clear.

Traumatized from other systems already, now yours too.

Only your system had already traumatized me in other ways….