Survival Mode: A Social Worker’s Regret

When I was about 23, I was employed at a mental health agency as a worker that supported folks experiencing homelessness with basic needs, advocacy, and referrals. I had been working in the community for about 4 years, and at that point felt quite comfortable in my role. In my previous employment, I worked in shelters, halfway houses and provided addiction counselling and/or case management to high acuity clients. I became very familiar with the community, the service providers within it as well as those in leadership.

While doing outreach one day, my shift partner and I attended a community hub that we had a lengthy partnership with. We were both very familiar with the clients, and since my shift partner had been on the team for 10+ years, she introduced me to a lot of folks as well, which helped build trust with many more people.

When we walked into the hub, we were approached by one of the staff who asked if one of us could meet with a new client that was interested in discussing shelter and housing options. The staff did not give us much information, just her name and that she was “probably” Indigenous. My colleague felt more comfortable with me taking the lead on this one, which I was used to as she was approaching retirement and quite honestly was burnt out.

When I went to introduce myself to the client, she seemed open to chatting, but asked if we could meet during lunch time instead, as she had somewhere to go. We both agreed to reconvene at lunch. The lunch hour rolled around, and my shift partner and I returned to the hub, where I was ready to connect with the client. The staff member provided us with a private room where we could chat without others being around, for her privacy and confidentiality. In hindsight, I wonder if this could have not been the best option for the client. Maybe isolated spaces away from others was something she was uncomfortable with? I never gave it a thought.

I re-introduced myself to the client as our previous interaction in the morning was cut short, and I explained what my role is. The client was sitting quite far from me with her arms crossed, not saying anything. She seemed to be listening so I continued to inform her of the services available to her in the area we were in, mainly around where she could obtain shelter. After a few minutes, the client abruptly got up and left the room. While she was walking away, I tried to call after her and ask if she would be open to talking more, but she quickly left. Right after the client left, I walked out of the room and went to my colleague and the staff member at the hub and let them know what happened. My colleague responded with “at least you tried” and the staff member at the hub said “That’s a shame. Maybe she went and got high, she seemed fine this morning.”

I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on this experience in the last couple months, and wished I spent more time doing so in that moment years ago. Many of my decisions had me in the driver’s seat, rather than stepping back and letting the client speak to her needs. My knowledge at that time was so minimal, and although there had been courses in school that gave an overview of Indigenous history, there was no way I could have been prepared to have a meaningful interaction with her. Knowing what I know now, there could have been many efforts that I could have taken beforehand to be able to better support this client, and others in similar circumstances. To start, acknowledging my position as a social worker and being aware of the impacts of the role are rooted in colonial, traumatic and untrustworthy practices. I also feel like it would have been helpful if my colleague helped me debrief and reflect. We could have gone over how I could have done better, and how to hold ourselves accountable going forward. Also, the staff at the hub could have had a more empathetic approach, jeez.

I think back and regret my approach. I did what I thought I knew was right, which was providing information on services in our area, and offering to help her walk through them if needed. Considering she was a new client, and assumably new to the area – I can see how my approach could have been overwhelming, complicated, and even triggering. Without acknowledging or being mindful of this client’s life circumstances, I could not begin to build trust with her for her to feel comfortable in coming to me for support. I needed to start smaller, I needed to take the social work hat off for a minute and get to know the person sitting in front of me. Asking how she was doing that day, or finding out if she needed anything to eat or drink could have all been a start. A gesture of kindness is a great way to start to build trust. Listening to the person with whatever it is they want to chat about, maybe learning about them and who they were as a kid, or what they are passionate about. It’s not a one size fits all, but I hope to evoke some thought as to the ways we engage with the communities we work with.

In hindsight I can say that there are different ways I would have gone about having that conversation. It is far easier said than done, and by no means am I trying to say that I have it figured it out now. I am learning and will be for the rest of my life. What I can do is continue to be that life-long learner and learn from the community. I need to prioritize the voices of folks we support. With the community’s help, this can be done through advocacy in my own workplace and personal circles. I need to build meaningful relationships with folks as well as establish strong partnerships with Indigenous informed agencies. I need to ask questions but also not expect the community to do all the work and learning for me. I also cannot assume one person to speak to the voices of all. A lot of work I’ve got to do but, it’s truly just the start.